Horses

Alright interwebs, this is my first post, so bear with me. Making the leap from Lobster Sea Adventure and Typing Tutor to Web 2.0 may not bode well for me. But the increasing interconnectedness of our big blue planet has got me thinking about one thing, and one thing only:

Horses are fucked up.

You heard me. Horses. Equus ferus caballus, those guys.

Stick with me here.

As I understand it, horses used to be regular animals in the wild like snow leopards or giant condors, until man decided to domesticate them, culminating in the Rob & Big Season 1 purchase of Mini-Horse.

The context of "The Horse" hit me as I was driving past a stable in New Jersey the other day. Just to clarify, I was DRIVING. A CAR. Granted it was a 2000 Protege but nonetheless it was an automobile, one of those things that mankind spent a long ass time figuring out how to make en masse, and how to build necessary support infrastructure (interstates, gas stations.)

If you look at husbandry and breeding and such things, the horse has a comparable level of human investment, especially when viewed over the long term. But that is where this ends, because a horse is basically a car that shits wherever it wants to, and can't go on the Parkway. Which makes horses fucking STUPID.

Hey guys, we don't hunt with bows and arrows anymore. I mean some people keep up that skill just in case, but the Venn Diagram overlap between those folks and polo players is probably not that large. Horses, as I understand it, cost billions of dollars to maintain. I bet if you own a horse you feel pretty stupid in this recession. But I don't feel bad for you, because it's not like two years ago you could ride your equine pre-automobile to town to pick up a pack of smokes.

So get off that high horse of yours.

Also, Equus. Thanks to horses, I've been forced to look up pictures of Harry Potter naked. For research.