conejo grande

Hey Liz, guess what you look like?

you can't spell 'pandemic' without 'panic'!

A few things to read while you're waiting for CVS to re-stock the hand sanitizer aisle... (honestly, I saw no less than three people whipping out Purell during my two-hour long ride home from work today. And what can go wrong with leaving public safety concerns to the discretion of rush hour commuters?)

-Contrary to research I've spent my whole life doing, astrophysicists claim that the Milky Way tastes like something other than caramel, nougat, and dreams.

-Forget what I ever said in praise of Peter Orszag: The solution to the sub-prime mortgage crisis isn't to be found in the OMB or Obama's magical Cabinet... it's much simpler, more elegant. Two words: ant realtors. The BBC says they're "better than humans" at rationally picking out homes, but I have to wonder... can they make houses that look like this?! Okay, maybe they can. But... can they make houses that look like this?! ...No? And they wouldn't want to? Because ants, unlike people, make "rational decisions"? ...

-lol ESPN.comhax0rd. The glittery unicorns and rainbows are great... utilizing the Konami cheat pushes it into the realm of the awesome... and the finishing touch of changing all the text on the page to Comic Sans? That's just classy.

-Between this Churchill Downs piece and the dramz last week with the polo horses, I'm beginning to think pdclem2's blog posts have even more of an impact on the real world than I had previously thought... I guess I'm just glad he's on our side? I mean, let's be honest, horses had it coming, but... I don't even want to think about what could happen if powers like Pete's were used injudiciously.

-And for good measure, my favorite swine flu humor so far. I spent the better part of the day Wiki-reading about things like cytokine storms and the last big bad flu, and honestly, I don't know what to tell you except that Gizmodo's got some really good links to H1N1 outbreak GoogleMaps if you're like me and would rather geekily indulge in amateur (and somewhat morbid) epidemiology than seriously think about any precautions you should actually be taking.

things to read!

So, blah blah, you know the drill... essentially, I'm super tired from a great long weekend and my first-ever post-kickball debauch, but not too tired to share a few gems from the webs:

"Despite a threat from Islamists, two Pakistani brothers stealthily manufacture fetish and bondage wear"... I honestly don't even know where to begin dissecting the brilliance of this piece, but please please PLEASE watch the video, as it's just transcendent in its (I'm assuming unintentional) hilarity. Much deserved shoutout to resident Paki-nerd cmhogle for the link...

...TrueSlant is pretty baller lately (and I'm not just saying that because some ladies I know are launching a blog there soon)... my favorite pieces to come out of there of late are Matt Taibbi justifiably hating on Tom Friedman for bad metaphors and Ryan Sager letting us know that birds are smarter in groups. (Actually though, between links to Jeopardy, beer goggles and some nice speculation on Arlen Specter's really old brain, Sager's Neuroworld blog is kinda awesome overall for all the geekazoids comme moi out there...)

...Ryan Lizza never disappoints the D.C. policy wonk in all of us, as proven by this week's read into Orszag, Summers, and the whole budget clusterf*ck. Maybe I'm just a sucker, but on the eve of the 100th day into the administration, talk like this (from an OMB deputy director) still makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy: "“One of the things that was really surprising to me is the amount of value that was put into analytics and academics, and thinking constructively about a project. I’m not saying that people completely ignored the Hill reaction or the public reaction, but we began with: ‘This is what smart people are saying about this, and this is why.’ ”"

...Just when I thought I was the only one noticing that Marc Thiessen is borderline batshit crazy, Slate adds some fuel to the anti-former-Bush-speechwriter fire...

...This is kinda old-school, but I must have missed it when it came out a few months ago... basically, OMG I kind of want to write an Indiana Jones spinoff about this crazy awful scary Nazi scientist who may or may not have single-handedly created an entire community of Aryan twins in Brazil...

...And last but CERTAINLY not least: the Washington Capitals are FREAKING AMAZING and they only had to bash (Brash?) one head to prove it. And thanks to Carolina, we're going to get the chance to eat Crosby for dinner even sooner than I had imagined. Can't wait. Meanwhile, the Redskins managed to actually not eff up the draft, although I'm going to thank the Jets for that before I deign to believe that it had anything to do with Dan Snyder having a single rational/thoughtful bone in his body... whatever though, the draft is ridiculous anyway and I'm over it and hopefully so is JC because it's time to get started. The Skins D is so money I can't even wait to watch it destroy (is it too early to say No. 1 in the league?) and in the meantime I'm looking forward to hearing my favorite Kings of Leon fan issue dispatches from things like minicamp, the first of which is this Friday!!

In Continued Defense of the Greylock Gun, Two Years Later

When I was in college, I took a class on the History of Warfare. It was, needless to say, totally fucking rad. I totally pwn3d the final exam too, despite two TOTALLY EGREGIOUS SLIGHTS NEVER TO BE FORGIVEN.

Slight 1: My team was tasked to construct a wall, to withstand the opposing team's battering ram. We chose the counter-battering ram rudiments, rebar, concrete, and plywood. The other team had (if I remember correctly) seventeen recently commissioned Marines, and a champion MMA fighter. Our wall did not fare well. In the end we didn't clean up our mess, and we pretty much inadvertently built a patio in front of the big lecture hall on campus. Oops.

The slight? Our wall made it 10 rams, fair and square, but the professor allowed them to go for a bonecrushing eleventh swing, felling our masonry. FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES, SIR.

Slight 2: My partner and I were tasked with crafting a strategic war footing for Berkshire County, to defend against the neighboring counties in Vermont, New York, Eastern Massachusetts, and Connecticut. I can't even remember what they were, because I (uncharacteristically, I might add) completely eschewed realpolitik in favor of building a giant fucking cannon on top of Mount Greylock, next to the epicly spooky World War I lighthouse.

Limited to Revolutionary-Napoleonic Era technology and tactics, I thought this pretty damn reasonable. It worked on many levels, 1) tactically, as it was placed to rain hot iron on Routes 7 and 8 on either of its sides, the most likely invasion points from the South, West, or East; and 2) as the scariest terror weapon in history (pre-Waterloo liberal arts alternative history anyway) which, even if woefully inaccurate (a factor I took into account, as it would only have to be accurate to within an acre at a distance of 5 miles to really impact against Napoleonic-Era troop formations) would have devastated the morale of an invading force from Columbia County, New York (carpetbaggers). After detailing the strategic nuance of the Greylock Gun, I took part in this exchange.

Prof: Do you two really think this would have been effective as a weapon? Or an effective use of resources?

Me: I think it would have been awesome.

A in the class, thank you grade inflation. Since that day two years ago, I have been working on my time machine (Terminator rules; one way trip, can't bring anything back) in order to first go back and rescue famed ballistician Gerald Bull from early retirement in Belgium, whenceupon the two of us could travel back once more and construct said Greylock Gun, finally I would then travel further back in and set in motion some chain of events in which Aaron Burr's New York secessionist movement actually gained steam and led to him (foolishly) marching an army on North Adams via the Petersburg Pass... only to meet certain doom.

Creepers

One of the great things about being alive and young in this modern age is the fact that people keep coming up with exciting new words for stuff. It's interesting to watch things that have been around since the dawn of time finally get the names that they so deserve. I get that you needed to create the word "telephone" when someone featured out you could telegraphically communicate, um, phonically with someone. But words like cougar, creeper, lingerer? Bromance had its fifteen minutes, a passing word for a passing fad, but these are enduring terms, like "computer" or "sandwich" that are here to stay.

I think cougar as a word may be well past its expiration point, but I think we are so permissive with the idea because it is such a perfect word. Calling someone a "Mrs. Robinson," while more high-brow, was always sort of cumbersome.

But creeper? Fuck yes. Give me more where that came from, invisible wordsmith. Even the urbandictionary entry is written in prose at once florid and blunt, playfully succinct like Hemingway at his best:

A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper.

Creeper is versatile as a term, because unlike cougar (and creeper's cousin, lingerer) it is more of a point on a spectrum. Instead of just thinking of your friend Winchester as that guy who stares a little too long, and says inappropriate things to women, Winchester is now a data point somewhere between Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and an Easter Island statue, and its funny because he's much closer on the spectrum to the former than the latter. Oh Winchester, such a creeper. Don't creep too hard Winchester, that line between you and pederasty is closer than you think! And so on.

And then there is the "hard creep." The hard creep, cousin of the lurk, is more premeditated and self-aware. When creeper becomes to verb "to creep," it somehow gains a lightheartedness, or at least loses some of its awkwardness. A creeper is a sad individual, while someone creeping might just be having a good time. The hard creep is the apex. If you've ever spent a lot of time at a small college, or with a tight group of friends where everyone has already dated and/or lived together, then you know the hard creep. The hard creep is when you stop giving a fuck and turn into a human paint mixer. Not only are you out to find those new acquaintances that have been hiding somewhere weird this whole time, but you're out to make someone weird out of those acquaintances you already have.


Note: facebook stalking is not "creeping." It is just facebook stalking. It's good though.


PS Holy fuck what is this? Theory of Flux Creep in Hard Superconductors


All of those words are maaaaaaagical

I'm over it...

The pluvial climate as of late has left this blogger feeling a little under the weather...but here's what has been on my radar these days.

Ended up seeing 3 amahzing shows this weekend

Kicked off Friday night with a little accordion fronted Milk Machine before making our way over to the new LOML slash area native Thao - toothbrush + guitar + cloves = the new black

Then in what has become a tradition of sorts - headed down to the mall just in time to see moe jam a little and The Flaming Lips debauch a little

ILOVEYOUWAYNECOYNE

In my never ending quest to think of The Next Big thing - stumbled upon this article. Especially intrigued by the Resilience essay /Glad to know America is going to be okay / confused about the Anger Management piece / and straight up disappointed by the Neomedievalism article.

Speaking of medievalism - thought this was by far one of the more impressive things the UN has done in recent times, just hope it doesn't give this guy a run for his $$.

short, not necessarily sweet

Okay, so this is going to be quick because I'm pretty beat (time spent commuting > 1/2 the time required to be spent at actual work = makes me want to you know what) but here's the stuff that got me through the day:

-I'm sure this has made its way around the nets by now, but the Kuznets curve is mathematical proof (and everyone knows you can't argue with math!) that you don't have to feel bad about your SUV... additionally, the easy clickability to relevant blogs and such on the NYT website = a helpful reminder that Pinch Sulzberger has done at least one productive thing in his life (besides possibly help derail Caroline Kennedy's sham campaign). (zomg, "shampaign"?!)

-Side note to the NYT - Op-eds by Bono kind of make me want to simultaneously laugh and throw up... which actually is sort of impressive, although it wouldn't be the first time I've had that feeling.

-My (neurologically unenhanced) verdict is still out on the issue of neuroenhancers, but even though the piece pulls UVa's good ole' Cav Daily as a source (Eustace, I thought you were better than that, really), it's a great read nonetheless... and at the very least, it's good to know that "transhumanists are interested in robots, cryogenics, and living a really, really long time; they consider biological limitations that the rest of us might accept, or even appreciate, as creaky obstacles to be aggressively surmounted." (So, wait... transhumanist is just a fancy word for a geek with a God complex?)

-And it's good to know you can always rely on the NYT for a little OMGChina - as in: OMG, China is sooooo big ("There are nearly enough Chinese named Zhang Wei to populate the city of Pittsburgh.") (In that case, Zhang Wei better just watch out) and sooo bureaucratically bitchy!

Amateurism

Only recently did I find out that the creator and chronicler of my favorite teenage detectives was a pseudonym, which got me thinking about the characters he (they) brought to life.

Now, to be fair, I'll buy into the idea that being the son(s) of renowned NYPD detective Fenton Hardy can lend you some biological skill in the field of, um, detection. But it usually took Frank and Joe 150 pages at least to figure out that the swarthy foreigner was really the one who killed the film director. Or something.

Batman, however, was well-known to be the World's Greatest Detective, and I was seriously miffed when Liam Neeson didn't constantly refer to Bale as such in Batman Begins (in retrospect, probably best that he didn't ad lib with Bale). But it is pretty much the bedrock of all Batman canon that the guy devoted his life to his craft, practicing Krav Maga before we knew what it was and just generally inventing new ways to be raw and advertising this to his loved ones, thereby alienating them.

That's the throat chop right there. On the one hand, you've got some lady from Scotland who can sing opera real good and generally seems like the most fun person to drink with in the history of the world, and on the other, and on the other, you have a cyborg marketing machine raised by a Green Beret to be one of the greatest athletes in the history of the world.

America, nay, the world, loves the amateur. And this isn't the definition the IOC used to use; we all know that being a team of de facto professionals didn't stop the Soviets from getting their asses kicked at Lake Placid (WOOO AMERICA!!!!).

The amateur is less nuanced than the underdog. The underdog is willing to sacrifice everything and wins his peers over with his work ethic and pluck, but does not necessarily produce; if Dan Devine had let Rudy Ruetigger go for more than one sack against Georgia Tech, he would have ended up straight in the hospital. The underdog perseveres in his effort, if not his results (McConaughey, I am looking at you) while the amateur rolls out of bed and galumphs to glory.

Would that there were a synthesis! Some sort of golden mean, someone lazy and rakish enough that he is relevant to the common man, while at the same time crafty enough to cash in on his or her fifteen minutes of fame and never let go of that handful of helium balloons carrying him across the sky.

God bless wikipedia. World, I give you Eugène François Vidocq.

Horses

Alright interwebs, this is my first post, so bear with me. Making the leap from Lobster Sea Adventure and Typing Tutor to Web 2.0 may not bode well for me. But the increasing interconnectedness of our big blue planet has got me thinking about one thing, and one thing only:

Horses are fucked up.

You heard me. Horses. Equus ferus caballus, those guys.

Stick with me here.

As I understand it, horses used to be regular animals in the wild like snow leopards or giant condors, until man decided to domesticate them, culminating in the Rob & Big Season 1 purchase of Mini-Horse.

The context of "The Horse" hit me as I was driving past a stable in New Jersey the other day. Just to clarify, I was DRIVING. A CAR. Granted it was a 2000 Protege but nonetheless it was an automobile, one of those things that mankind spent a long ass time figuring out how to make en masse, and how to build necessary support infrastructure (interstates, gas stations.)

If you look at husbandry and breeding and such things, the horse has a comparable level of human investment, especially when viewed over the long term. But that is where this ends, because a horse is basically a car that shits wherever it wants to, and can't go on the Parkway. Which makes horses fucking STUPID.

Hey guys, we don't hunt with bows and arrows anymore. I mean some people keep up that skill just in case, but the Venn Diagram overlap between those folks and polo players is probably not that large. Horses, as I understand it, cost billions of dollars to maintain. I bet if you own a horse you feel pretty stupid in this recession. But I don't feel bad for you, because it's not like two years ago you could ride your equine pre-automobile to town to pick up a pack of smokes.

So get off that high horse of yours.

Also, Equus. Thanks to horses, I've been forced to look up pictures of Harry Potter naked. For research.

one more thing

If anyone wants to work on one of these and use the profits to help me buy one of these, let me know. I'll provide moral support and home-cooked meals like a good woman while you tire your brain with all those numbers and hypotheses and other science-y things.

Also, zomg, who wants to go to this with me?

a little weekend reading

from Slate: "This is the essence of Statham-ism, a mix of bionic brute force and slapstick—Robocop meets Keystone Cops."

some Wired-inspired Wikipedia (the most recent issue is this particular geek's heaven btw... all about mystery and magic and puzzles and guest-edited by J. J. Abrams!): the Georgia Guidestones, Kryptos, and the finally near release of new Nabokov to get excited about.

from VF: a good piece on how weird Arthur Sulzberger Jr. is and the future of the NYTimes and print media in general... although Bowden's anti-algorithm diatribe near the end turns me off a little.

and some old New Yorker I meant to put up here a while ago: Toobin on Burris (his two kids are named Roland Jr. and Rolanda?!), a seriously scary piece on solitary confinement, and that Rahm Emanuel profile by Ryan Lizza... if you love people fulfilling their stereotypes as much as I do, this will not disappoint.

Email Of The Day From Gma - Plz Note # 14. Tnks.

Thoughts For The Day

An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
(Romans8:31)

My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings.
SEND IT FORWARD PLEASE,
Not backward!

The Economist is for Lovers

Two VA mentions in the Economist lately - Charlottesville got name-dropped last week in this really interesting guy about water politics. And then this week? zomg don't tell Kim Jong Il.

This is what we in the business call "hype"

An announcement: Sometime in the not-too-distant-future (speaking of, anybody remember this?), you're going to start hearing yet another sparklingly witty and startlingly visionary voice on here... that's right, our freelance concepualist, Pete the Polymath is going to get all highbrow on y'all, start dropping some seriously meta conceptual concepts... basically, it's going to be mad sick. Obvi. I don't want to let any of his cats out of the bag, or get anybody too excited, but... "conceptual regional sasquatchery" is a phrase that's been said more than once today with a straight face. I'd tell you to get ready for the greatness, but I don't think that's even possible. All I can really recommend is brushing up on your knowledge of things like parthenogenesis and hippotherapy.

(PS: The reference to polymathy reminds me of a riddle/truism a wise woman (yes, it was Danielle) once told me: What's the difference between a Renaissance man and a Renaissance woman? The Renaissance woman can't understand science.)

I'm Just Big Boned!

Direct cause and effect?

This is the true story...

To find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real.

Yeah I'm a member; how do you think I got my job?

Fun, well-written environmental exposé on NWO-y groups getting wasted and wrecking really cool trees?

Check.

LMB, please explain.

My robot brain does not compute fixie fashion.

(And with that... my first attempt at a blog entry under 300 words.)

I Love Beards

This B is giving Asian hype-sters girls a bad name. - Mary H.

Hit-and-Run

This is why I refuse to ride on the sidewalks. And I don't even like this B.

you need this

Hey hey friends, what's good? À la Baghdadi (which is, let's be honest, the best way to do anything), here's what the webs have been entertaining my rods and cones with lately:

1. "Unclear why the team decided to parachute onto the scene under cover of darkness from a C-17 with rafts" instead of "simply landing on the destroyer via helicopter" = Navy SEAL Team VI are kind of like MacGyver, except with sniper rifles instead of a paper clip and a ball point pen.

2. Red is the new black, Mike Green is just dirty good and only three days older than me, he and Ovie probably need to just get a room (and invite me along with them) --> win or lose, the Stanley Cup playoffs make for just exhaustively good watching and I'm not the only one in town who thinks so. (But Game 1 last night = I haven't watched Lost yet, so if the yesterday's episode ended with Walt shaking a snow globe, I don't want to talk about it. Until tomorrow.)

3. As long as we don't try to use the results to suppress mutant phenotypes, I'm alright with continuing to fund genetic research.

4. Two words: bacon torch. On second thought, a few more words, because the opening sentence to this article is too good: "I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half."

...and for number 5, we go back to pirates: 007-y gadgets as weapons are just not quite ready for prime-time on the high-seas.

Lastly, a bonus question I'm going to throw out there - After spending all of childhood behind rough approximations of what my dad's military buddies would have called BCGs, I'm thinking about taking up my parents' offer to get Lasik. Anyone able to assuage my fears that the laser eye surgery process is scary or convince me that night blindness and dry eyes are a fair trade for life without contacts?

(NB: Two Bond references in one post? Damn. Someone had their Wheaties this morning.)

oh, and PS: the picture included at right? You really really need this. Trust us, we know a thing or two about snack products designed to taste like other, less shelf-stable snack products.

Email Of The Day From My Grandmother

Dissent of the day?
Nope.
Picture of the day?
No ways.
Rant of the day?
You know the drill, Jose.

No no no, none of these...in keeping with the hoi polloi of the blogosphere I have decided to try and keep a pretty regular post...one a day I say. I will be copying and pasting one of the many chainmail nonsensical emails I get from my grandmother each and every day, and so with that I leave you today's...

A good lesson to be learned about judging a book by its cover!
Amazing and inspiring. If you don’t feel good after watching this, I would be
surprised. Love Judi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Middle Eastern Shangri-La?

Just finished reading this piece by Johann Hari of The Independent called "The Dark Side of Dubai." Such a fascinating article exposing - as the title suggests - the dark side of Dubai that rarely ever makes it to the press. Looks like there's trouble in paradise..

Some interesting things to note from the article:

In the 70's Sheikh Maktoum wanted to follow in Israel's footsteps and 'make the desert bloom' so he essentially invited the world to come to Dubai tax-free. Millions of people came, dominated the now 5% local population, leaving the Dubai we see today with 3 very different distinct classes...the Emirati's, the Expats, and then the omnipresent foreign slave class who built the city. These foreigners (who mostly come from Bangladesh and surrounding countries) are tricked into leaving their lives and families behind in their native countries and promised the world in exchange for hard labor. Once these workers get to Dubai, their passports are taken and they are forced to work 14-hour days in extreme heat and made to live in less than desirable conditions.

The author talks about the many things wrong with Dubai, citing it as "a city built from nothing in just a few wild decades on credit and ecocide, suppression and slavery."

In keeping with what I was talking about earlier re Islamic banking and the current financial crisis, he also notes, "And today? Sheikh Mohammed turned Dubai into Creditopolis, a city built entirely on debt. Dubai owes 107 percent of its entire GDP. It would be bust already, if the neighbouring oil-soaked state of Abu Dhabi hadn't pulled out its chequebook."

Something else very interesting, but probably a known fact amongst M.E. scholars like myself, "In every large city, gay people find a way to find each other – but Dubai has become the clearing-house for the region's homosexuals, a place where they can live in relative safety. Saleh, a lean private in the Saudi Arabian army, has come here for the Coldplay concert, and tells me Dubai is "great" for gays: "In Saudi, it's hard to be straight when you're young. The women are shut away so everyone has gay sex. But they only want to have sex with boys – 15- to 21-year-olds. I'm 27, so I'm too old now. I need to find real gays, so this is the best place. All Arab gays want to live in Dubai."

SoulWow!

Live in the Tri-State Area? Sinned lately?
Lets hope you don't end up like this guy.

Hype-sters

So funny. So true.

Usury = Financial Crisis

Maybe this will help explain my obsession with Islamic banking? I'm telling you...there is reason behind some of this stuff.

Thank G

Now would you mind getting started on that law banning all Maryland and Virginia drivers from even entering the District.
Tnks.

Zing Zang Zong

ZOMG!!!

My Kinda Girl

Check it.

The Future!

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately. It's interactive, so click on it.

Bigmouth Strikes Again

Alright alright alright...we're back...it has been a long while so I may be a little rusty at this, but here goes...

So it's Monday night and I'm just now coming down from my Easter candy sugar - induced high. On my way down I got to thinkin about a couple of things (insert obvious Carrie Bradshaw quote here.)

No but really, like Joce said, we have been busy busy girls.
After losing a bet I was sure to win, I was forced to surrender to the scissors that would not only shape my face but ultimately shape my future? Quarter-life crisis? Could be. Social experiment? C'est possible. Brilliant initiative taking on my part? Highly unlikely. No folks, unfortunately none of those. I was so sure that I was going to get a certain job that I vowed to shave my head if I didn't end up getting it. And....well...yiiiiiiikes...I didn't end up getting it. Nevertheless, hair or no hair, Joce and I had a wonderful winter. We made it across the Atlantic and back, made a few unlikely purchases and moved into our first real apartment. All in all things are good. I want to post more, but unfortunately I have got to get my eightandahalf.

What's good.

Friends, enemies, lovers, haters - stop everything, hold the presses. It's 73 degrees and sunny in our nation's capital, which means drop everything you're doing, leave work early (if you're lucky/unlucky enough to still have a job!) and walk yourself to the nearest 7-Eleven to celebrate the oncoming summer the best way possible - Slurpees. As far as size goes, the 22oz. is the nearest thing to mathematical perfection one can hope for (I could go on, but we'll leave the discussion of Fourier's law and ideal slush/liquid ratios for another, even geekier, blog), and for flavors? I'd say the choice of flavors is up to you, but that only applies if the particular 7-Eleven you blissfully waltz into doesn't have Dr. Pepper. If it does? If your friendly neighborhood 7-Eleven does have Dr. Pepper Slurpees (may I recommend 14th&Columbia)? Congratulations, you've won at life. You can probably take this stroke of transcendentally good luck as a sign that nothing bad will ever happen to you or anyone you love ever again. But ANYWAY, Slurpee in hand (and by the way, if it's after 5pm by the time you're reading this, feel free to spike that sucker. Slurpees with gin is one of the best bad ideas Danielle Kuhn ever had, and that's saying something.), walk our fine streets and enjoy. It's FRIDAY and it's SUNNY!!

So, we haven't blogged for almost six months. Omg, did you miss us? I know I did. What can I say, we've been busy girls - we moved (so long sweet commune, hello living room! Comparisons have been made - and not unduly I might add - to fun levels approaching that of Tom Hanks' sweet digs circa 1988.), we made it to Africa and back (recipe for a happy girl - two parts Cruzcampo, one part Maggie May on the iPod, shake gently via the rolling of the boat across the Strait of Gibraltar), we laughed, we cried, we loved, we lost, we may or may not have caused a global financial crisis, we got haircuts. Well, one of us got haircuts. We rediscovered our love for H. St. and one of us discovered for the first time that she's kind of a hustler at Jenga. (Who knew?) We acquired more really sexy bikes (again, one of us did... the other one has to admit that they are really sexy, though), learned how to make chicken lettuce wraps, and got tickets to the Inauguration (BHO, I love you to death, I really do, but I can't believe it wasn't within your unearthly power to raise the temperature on our nation's collective day of orgasm above 25F.) We've done work on Womenomics, gotten down and dirty with Wikipedia in the process, and gotten really reeeallly excited about an upcoming event starting with 'bookp' and ending with 'artayyyy!!' We've made new friends and done way too much bad karaoke with old ones.

So that was then. This is now. What's good now? Everything! If this gorgeous weather bullshit ever knocks off (cross your fingers for never), go see Adventureland, it's awesome. Worth having Falco stuck in your head for four days for. If you don't have Wale in your life, get him in it, now. Even if "getting your U Street on" probably means something different for you then it does for him (I have a hard time seeing him in the sweaty-ass basement of Saint Ex on a Friday night?), it's still good to be able to rep Ovechkin and the 'Skins through verse. Speaking of the 'Skins, NFL schedule comes out on Tuesday, that's baller. Revel in the 16-0 of the pre-pre-season for as long as possible. The cherry blossoms should be about gone by now, but I've always had a softer spot for the magnolias anyway, and you can see them for a lot longer and without having to fight your way into the confused and fanny-pack-packed Orange line cars. (Bitching about tourists = too easy, too boring, too passe? Maybe so, but it's part of the badge of honor you get for living in the city, so I'm keeping with it.) Maya Lin at the Corcoran looks great, another thing to save for a currently unimaginable rainy day.

Overall: Spring has sprung, life is good, let's go bike riding, drinking, etc.?!