next stop, nerdsville

how many of us have heard/told this story before over lunch "if it wasn't for my roommate/landlord/neighbor's dog barking/pounding hangover waking me up this morning, i'd probably still be in bed?" well, today the roommate slept in, the landlord kept to himself, the neighbor doesn't even have a dog, and i was blissfully nonhungover, so... i woke up to birds chirping and my alarms having been sounding totally unheeded for 3+ hours. so i did what any respectable federal employee would do... eschewed the idea of peeling myself out of bed to slog to work half-a-day late in the rain and instead called in (cough, cough) sick.

two hours, three cafe au laits, and several none-too-(or perhaps way-too-)successful attempts at making eyes at probably-gay guys (damn you, Andrew Sullivan!) at Tryst later, i came across this on page 22 of The Stuff of Thought:

" Many other kinds of speech are interpreted in ways that differ from their literal meaning:

'If you could pass the guacamole, that would be awesome.'

'We're counting on you to show leadership in our Campaign for the Future.'

'Would you like to come up and see my etchings?'

'Nice store you got there. Would be a real shame if something happened to it.'

These are clearly intended as a request, a solicitation for money, a sexual come-on, and a threat. But why don't people just say what they mean?... 'Gimme the guacamole,' and so on?"

anyway, the analysis is interesting, but I'll spare you it for now (or save it for you to read on your own... i just discovered you can read this guy on Google Books if that's the kind of thing you're into). but aside from the weirdness that is a guy coming on to you with etchings, it reminded me a lot of a conversation had yesterday whilst enjoying a cornucopia of cheap beers at The Raven (Bud heavy for me, Sierra Nevada for 'zette, and the Champagne of Beers for Ashkan-joon). Chris wanted to say something about the activist ads all over Metro Center, and he started the train of thought by saying, "hey, have you guys ever been to Metro Center? ...i mean, i know you have, but i don't know any other way to start this story." (or something along those lines.)

ANYWAY, i think this is sort of exactly what Pinker talks about when he says "...ordinary conversation is like a session of tete-a-tete diplomacy, in which the parties explore ways of saving face, offering an "out" and maintaining plausible deniability..." i haven't gotten to chapter 8 where he really digs into this yet, but the point is, the fact that this exact conversational event happened to me last night, and then I read a linguistic analysis of it this morning can only mean one of two things:

1.) Ashkan is both a spy and a time-traveller, travelled to the future, saw me shirking work and reading this book, then travelled back to last night, lulled my senses with the King of Beers, and coolly passed all this off as a chatty non sequitur, when it was really part of a conspiracy to further my blind faith in books, or

2.) The Raven is the kind of transcedent place where Janis Joplin tunes and $3 Stellas cause the fabric of space-time and the pseudo-intellectual mishmash of friends to become interwoven into some sort of fantastical vortex of perfection. i'm no scientist of the magical arts here (unlike our friend pictured at left) but I'm leaning towards the second one because i think it gives me a metaphysical excuse for not going to work.

on a totally unrelated note, i want to throw in a quick plug for how awesome NPR podcasts are. if you're a 35-year-old trapped in a 20-something's body like myself, they're a find. personal favorites include All Songs Considered (thanks Pincus for introducing me to this!) and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. they're great and easy to use, even if you're a phony like me, and feel totally ridiculous even using the word 'podcast' as i have essentially no idea what it means, how it works, or why it doesn't take up more space on your iPod. and unfortunately, there's absolutely no way of finding out answers to such questions...