things to read!

So, blah blah, you know the drill... essentially, I'm super tired from a great long weekend and my first-ever post-kickball debauch, but not too tired to share a few gems from the webs:

"Despite a threat from Islamists, two Pakistani brothers stealthily manufacture fetish and bondage wear"... I honestly don't even know where to begin dissecting the brilliance of this piece, but please please PLEASE watch the video, as it's just transcendent in its (I'm assuming unintentional) hilarity. Much deserved shoutout to resident Paki-nerd cmhogle for the link...

...TrueSlant is pretty baller lately (and I'm not just saying that because some ladies I know are launching a blog there soon)... my favorite pieces to come out of there of late are Matt Taibbi justifiably hating on Tom Friedman for bad metaphors and Ryan Sager letting us know that birds are smarter in groups. (Actually though, between links to Jeopardy, beer goggles and some nice speculation on Arlen Specter's really old brain, Sager's Neuroworld blog is kinda awesome overall for all the geekazoids comme moi out there...)

...Ryan Lizza never disappoints the D.C. policy wonk in all of us, as proven by this week's read into Orszag, Summers, and the whole budget clusterf*ck. Maybe I'm just a sucker, but on the eve of the 100th day into the administration, talk like this (from an OMB deputy director) still makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy: "“One of the things that was really surprising to me is the amount of value that was put into analytics and academics, and thinking constructively about a project. I’m not saying that people completely ignored the Hill reaction or the public reaction, but we began with: ‘This is what smart people are saying about this, and this is why.’ ”"

...Just when I thought I was the only one noticing that Marc Thiessen is borderline batshit crazy, Slate adds some fuel to the anti-former-Bush-speechwriter fire...

...This is kinda old-school, but I must have missed it when it came out a few months ago... basically, OMG I kind of want to write an Indiana Jones spinoff about this crazy awful scary Nazi scientist who may or may not have single-handedly created an entire community of Aryan twins in Brazil...

...And last but CERTAINLY not least: the Washington Capitals are FREAKING AMAZING and they only had to bash (Brash?) one head to prove it. And thanks to Carolina, we're going to get the chance to eat Crosby for dinner even sooner than I had imagined. Can't wait. Meanwhile, the Redskins managed to actually not eff up the draft, although I'm going to thank the Jets for that before I deign to believe that it had anything to do with Dan Snyder having a single rational/thoughtful bone in his body... whatever though, the draft is ridiculous anyway and I'm over it and hopefully so is JC because it's time to get started. The Skins D is so money I can't even wait to watch it destroy (is it too early to say No. 1 in the league?) and in the meantime I'm looking forward to hearing my favorite Kings of Leon fan issue dispatches from things like minicamp, the first of which is this Friday!!

short, not necessarily sweet

Okay, so this is going to be quick because I'm pretty beat (time spent commuting > 1/2 the time required to be spent at actual work = makes me want to you know what) but here's the stuff that got me through the day:

-I'm sure this has made its way around the nets by now, but the Kuznets curve is mathematical proof (and everyone knows you can't argue with math!) that you don't have to feel bad about your SUV... additionally, the easy clickability to relevant blogs and such on the NYT website = a helpful reminder that Pinch Sulzberger has done at least one productive thing in his life (besides possibly help derail Caroline Kennedy's sham campaign). (zomg, "shampaign"?!)

-Side note to the NYT - Op-eds by Bono kind of make me want to simultaneously laugh and throw up... which actually is sort of impressive, although it wouldn't be the first time I've had that feeling.

-My (neurologically unenhanced) verdict is still out on the issue of neuroenhancers, but even though the piece pulls UVa's good ole' Cav Daily as a source (Eustace, I thought you were better than that, really), it's a great read nonetheless... and at the very least, it's good to know that "transhumanists are interested in robots, cryogenics, and living a really, really long time; they consider biological limitations that the rest of us might accept, or even appreciate, as creaky obstacles to be aggressively surmounted." (So, wait... transhumanist is just a fancy word for a geek with a God complex?)

-And it's good to know you can always rely on the NYT for a little OMGChina - as in: OMG, China is sooooo big ("There are nearly enough Chinese named Zhang Wei to populate the city of Pittsburgh.") (In that case, Zhang Wei better just watch out) and sooo bureaucratically bitchy!

you need this

Hey hey friends, what's good? À la Baghdadi (which is, let's be honest, the best way to do anything), here's what the webs have been entertaining my rods and cones with lately:

1. "Unclear why the team decided to parachute onto the scene under cover of darkness from a C-17 with rafts" instead of "simply landing on the destroyer via helicopter" = Navy SEAL Team VI are kind of like MacGyver, except with sniper rifles instead of a paper clip and a ball point pen.

2. Red is the new black, Mike Green is just dirty good and only three days older than me, he and Ovie probably need to just get a room (and invite me along with them) --> win or lose, the Stanley Cup playoffs make for just exhaustively good watching and I'm not the only one in town who thinks so. (But Game 1 last night = I haven't watched Lost yet, so if the yesterday's episode ended with Walt shaking a snow globe, I don't want to talk about it. Until tomorrow.)

3. As long as we don't try to use the results to suppress mutant phenotypes, I'm alright with continuing to fund genetic research.

4. Two words: bacon torch. On second thought, a few more words, because the opening sentence to this article is too good: "I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half."

...and for number 5, we go back to pirates: 007-y gadgets as weapons are just not quite ready for prime-time on the high-seas.

Lastly, a bonus question I'm going to throw out there - After spending all of childhood behind rough approximations of what my dad's military buddies would have called BCGs, I'm thinking about taking up my parents' offer to get Lasik. Anyone able to assuage my fears that the laser eye surgery process is scary or convince me that night blindness and dry eyes are a fair trade for life without contacts?

(NB: Two Bond references in one post? Damn. Someone had their Wheaties this morning.)

oh, and PS: the picture included at right? You really really need this. Trust us, we know a thing or two about snack products designed to taste like other, less shelf-stable snack products.

yeah, why can't them?

going to try to keep this short, because technically i am "at work", but i gotta hand it (once again) to my favorite lesbian couple, Pincus and Livadas, for introducing me to a dirty, crowded, crazy, Phillied-out underbelly of Adams Morgan i had no idea even existed. i've probably walked past Ventnor Bar approximately a million times (it's right past the best place to spend Euros in the city) and never even noticed it. but when i showed up last night, with the giant GO PHILLIES sign out front and the Phils up two runs to zip in the bottom of the second, it was the place to be. i haven't been to a bar that crowded since the debacle that was the Skins playoff game at the Crystal City Sports Pub last winter. i wasn't even planning on going hard last night, but when a guy twice your size presses a delicious mystery shooter (tasted like Snapple?) into your hand and admonishes you with a "IT'S THE F%$*ING PHILLIES ABOUT TO WIN THE F*&%ING WORLD SERIES!!!", what can you do?

(disclaimer: i don't actually advocate drinking any random thing any random guy gives you at any random bar in adams morgan [or anywhere], but my friends knew the guy, and anyway, this was a special occasion! ...meaning i didn't get roofied. at least i don't think i did.)

anyway, it was nuts. McMonagle, this is your kind of place. if anyone's looking for a place to (hopefully) (rain, rain, go away) finish out the Series tonight, Ventnor is it. (but get there early, else you'll be on your [soon to be Yuengling-soaked] feet all night.)

putting the weekend to bed

if you ever find yourself in the Columbia Heights (or its red-headed [and thus hotter] stepsister, Mount Pleasant) area, may i heartily recommend my new favorite dive bar, The Raven, at 3125 Mt. Pleasant St.? tonight was our first foray there, but between cheap beer, a big screen showing the Giants-Steelers game, a BYO food policy, and a jukebox featuring (among others) Patsy Cline, The Cure, the Rushmore soundtrack, and plenty of Dylan (not to mention, was that a Scrabble board i saw on the back shelf?), i'm borderline convinced we've got a new haunt for the winter...

Santana Moss is a certified balla, but i probably didn't need to tell you that. even if Billick can't pronounce his first name to save his life. by the way, between that and Pam Oliver hoping that her crazy-ass jacket would distract people from the fact that she couldn't remember half of what she had talked to Tom Coughlin about 30 seconds earlier, someone needs to call Rupert Murdoch and remind him we have a financial crisis going on, and cutbacks have to start somewhere...

oh, and fyi, in case you needed more proof that every cute guy you've ever met in DC is probably not as interested in you as he is in the guy next to you, Andrew Sullivan has taken the liberty of confirming your fears. (note to Danielle: don't read this.) in a totally unrelated note, the Dupont drag race is this Tuesday!...

lastly, before this blogger (ha!) calls it quits for the weekend, i just started reading Steven Pinker's latest, The Stuff of Thought (excerpt from the book on the New Republic site here.) i bought it the same way i bought the last ten books i've read, which is to say i get sucked into the culture nexus that is Politics & Prose and then spit back out 20 minutes later and 50 dollars poorer. anyway, i'm only 12 pages in, but so far, i'm a fan....

ok, happy end of the weekend! t-minus five days to Halloween, start teasing your Sarah Palin wigs now!

five things i can't get enough of right now

1. Michael Lewis. it's been a while since i read Moneyball and The Blind Side, but his commentary on Bloomberg a couple days ago reminded me of how great he is.

2. Taqueria Distrito Federal. so good and so cheap, in the Central American "tres tacos" tradition. once the market bounces back (any day now!), i'm cashing in my 401k, franchising one of these babies at 18th and Columbia, keeping it open until 4am, and laughing as Julia goes down in flames. for now though, it's a Co. Heights/Petworth hidden gem.

3. ATTEND at the Kennedy Center. if you're under 25, this program is pretty fly. we saw Ivan Fischer conduct the NSO featuring Steven Isserlis in a Haydn cello concerto on Friday, second row orchestra seats for ten bucks. hard to beat. Frost/Nixon in two weeks should be good, too. pre-gaming the Kennedy Center is the new pre-gaming crappy frat parties, and the chances of ending the event with the walk of shame are much lower (no guarantees.)

4. the Washington Redskins coaching staff. instant Halloween costume: speed skates, a coyote fur jacket, an unlined baby face, and a general air of Buddha-like enlightenment. alternately, if you're too low on funds to buy a viola, brush up on your ability to make trenchant metaphors about pregnancy, old cars, fine wines, and urination and go as Greg Blache. this Halloween, be the change you wish to see in your Washington Redskins.

5. IZZEesque. i just had one of these at the Whole Foods in Tenleytown and it was balla. it tastes like the regular Izze and it manages to be low cal whilst also (probably) not giving you cancer (read: no aspartame).